Sunday, December 20, 2009

Just a Dream

Last night I dreamed that T--- was playing with my printer. "Push the buttons! push the buttons!" he giggled. I told him to stop but as usual he ignored me. I ran. Too late.

He pushed on the printer and it plummeted off the edge of the dock. It plunged down into the lake. I lunged for T--- and grazed his arm but down he went right behind the printer. I dove in and managed to grab T--- by the arm.

I frantically swam for the surface of the water. But he was so heavy. I would surge upward a couple of inches and then sink back down. I could feel the milliseconds ticking by. He was so heavy, and I was so tired. I started to panic, and it seemed that maybe I wouldn't make it in time. That maybe I wouldn't make it at all.

That's when I woke up. Now what do you suppose THAT was about?


  1. I'll take the bait:

    you're stressed (duh!)

    I'm going to share a link with you:

    You'll either be impressed or frightened. I'm the latter. Basically, it's a nonpracticing lawyer who has written some sort of dissertation about the nature and cause of autism. Where am I going with this? I dunno. Don't try to solve autism! That's probably a nonsensical imperative.

    I guess I relate to the intellectual curiosity and the feeling of having the weight of the world on your shoulders.

  2. Yes, I cop to the intellectual curiosity, there is that part of me that I can't turn off. But I also truly believe that I can't give up trying to figure out what is really going on with my son, because I think there is more to it than we know. It is hard when he is so young and it feels that so much hinges on trying to get it right.

  3. Wow, thanks for the link, this is very interesting. Of course, she's saying a lot of stuff along the lines I was already thinking so naturally I like it. LOL! anyhow, maybe this will stop me from trying to reinvent the wheel. I knew you knew everything.

  4. Hmmm ... I dunno, now that I've read her overview, I'm developing doubts. There is a lot left out here, as well as a lot of facts that don't fit her theory. But of course I haven't read the detailed theory yet (shudder). I'm interested to see ....